I’m really worried about this journey. It was OK in September, telling Pam that I’d take her to LKA – but here we are in December, and there’s snow and ice in the North of England! More than daunting, as we approach the day of departure. But it’s the only chance for little Riva to qualify for Crufts – and Dog Show Fever overcomes all else! Anyway, the weather seems milder and the eight inches of snow in Yorkshire was last week; so we’ll be OK, surely!
All stashed in the car, and off to the boat. As we drive on, I’m saying my usual prayer – ‘Please don’t make me reverse down that horrible hole!’ God isn’t listening, and they stop the queue three cars ahead, and make them do the dreaded three-point turn. ‘Sod it!’ I say to Pam, and I shoot off round the back and park myself in one of the straight rows on the other side. Goodie! No-one has noticed. We get away with it and amid much self-congratulation, go upstairs laughing.
When we get to the UK, all seems fine. Not a lot of traffic as it’s late, and trog up to Yorkshire in good time. Stop off at Doncaster to buy essentials for house, and begin final stage of journey into ‘them thar hills’! ‘The road looks a bit sparkly’ I say to Pam. No answer – she’s asleep! ‘Is that snow on the road?’ I ask myself. ‘No, it can’t be!’
Ten miles from destination. Oh yes it is!! Road closed with two-foot blocks of ice. ‘Pam, Help! How do I get out of this??’ Pam is now wide awake. I reverse carefully into a gateway, (Thank God for four-wheel drive). We gingerly drive the last bit of the journey – I don’t think my brother will be much impressed if I phone for a tractor to drag us home at 3AM!!
We make it! Pam opens the gate and I drive up onto the snow-covered car park. I open the door, get out, and promptly fall flat on my back!
We spend the next few days happily shopping, shopping and shopping. We’ve almost finished filling the trolley in the Supermarket. I go to get the frozen food, while Pam asks an employee where the Christmas puddings are. I lose Pam. I keep seeing her, but she is always looking the other way! Eventually, we bump into each other, arms full of stuff! ‘Where’s the trolley then?’ we both ask. It takes half an hour to find the trolley in front of the crisp counter, and people stare at us as we keep arguing, ‘I thought you had it!’ ‘No, I’m sure you had it!’
Mother is still in the care home. She is adamant that she is going home and will not listen to reason. We try to distract her with other topics. ‘We’ve got Pam’s Cocker puppy with us’ I say. ‘Where has she left the other puppies then?’ she asks. (Drat, she’s still off her trolley, then!).
The overnight weather forecast is dire, but determined to carry on, we decide to book a hotel for LKA, and travel down the day before. ‘What’s the name of the hotel at the NEC?’ ‘I know’ says Pam ‘It’s the Novotel’ I duly book us in.
We put the Novotel, NEC in the satnav. It’s only when we are nearly there, that I realise we are approaching Birmingham Airport! Into the car park in front of Terminal One! We go into the hotel and ask where the hotel car park is. ‘We don’t have one! You have to park in the multi-storey. Where is your car now?’ ‘Over there’ I say. ‘That’s the drop-off. It’s £3 for fifteen minutes!’
We dash off to rescue the car, drive twice round Terminal One, and eventually find the multi-storey. However, we have dog tents, bags and dogs to get all the way back to the hotel. Hunt the trolley game again! After lifts galore, building works, people with luggage, salt all over the pavements, and no grass for the dogs, we were all glad to get into the room. I wash the dogs feet to get the salt off. The dogs promptly jump on the bed (white duvet cover) Oops!!
We all survive – dinner served in room – breakfast in bed – the dogs surprisingly well-behaved. From all the interest we cause in the foyer, I suspect they don’t get a lot of dogs in raincoats here! We get up very early and drag everything back to the car. Then we go to the NEC and trolley everything into the venue. Still, here we are; more shopping for doggy things.
We come tantalisingly close to qualifying – Carys gets reserve (one short) and Riva is shortlisted out of twenty one. but then doesn’t place. Better than nothing, but still extremely disappointing. However, we have a great time with all our friends in Springers, and Delphi’s dad gets Best of Breed.
We go to Beverley show on Sunday. Get two seconds and a Best Cocker puppy (not bad). Then it’s all the way back to Weymouth. Satnav asks us to go to Salisbury instead of staying on A34. ‘Not likely! I say (or words to that effect!). But as we drive round Southampton, we find the M27 is closed!! Have to drive all over the place, miss our service station – no petrol, and need a wee!! To keep us amused, I repeat some of the jokes I read in my Springer Newsletter. ‘What do you call a cross between a Labrador and a Curly Coated Retriever?’ ‘Don’t know’ ‘A Lab Coat Retriever!’ ‘A cross between a Pointer and a Setter?’ ‘A Poinsetter !’ ‘Between a Collie and a Lhasa Apso?’ ‘A Collapso!’
Eventually, we find a small garage. Goodie, it’s open. Fill up with petrol. ‘May I use your toilet?’ ‘No, sorry, not allowed!’ I drive into the New Forest, find a car park, and pee behind the car. ‘It doesn’t get much worse than this!’ I say to Pam, as we fall asleep in a lay-by. We wake up two hours later, absolutely freezing. ‘I’m nithered!’ I say. ‘Me too’ says Pam.
We drive onto the ferry straight away, but, oh no!, I have to reverse all the way down the hell-hole in my exhausted state! Up the stairs – to find our recliner seats. ‘Have you booked?’ asks the attendant. ‘Yes, two seats for Ozanne’ ‘No, sorry, you’re not on my list!’ ‘Of course we are!’ ‘No, sorry, no seats for you.’ Just before I make some untoward outburst, the lady laughs, and says – ‘Oh yes, these must be your seats - Mrs. Orange!!’.
